How to Tell is a full day educational event that arms parents with the tools and confidence to have the conversation about donor conception with their children sooner rather than later.
How to Tell - The Program
Why tell - Ian Smith and Meike Suggars - what the research and history tells us about why we must tell donor conceived children their conception story.
DCP Panels - Courtney du Toit, EJ, and Marques - Hear from donor conceived people who’ve always known their donor conceived story, and from others about their experience learning about their conception later in life
The HOW: starting and continuing the conversation - Rita Alesi - language, age appropriate content & topics to cover as your child matures, conversation aids
Strengthening family bonds through communication - Sarah Nowoweiski
How to tell Others - group discussion - family, friends, teachers
Break-out groups - facilitated discussion of issues relevant to your family structure. Moderators include Jacqui Grad and Sarah Jefford.
Meet the Authors - kids authors Nat Hart (Journey to You) and Alisha Burns (My Perfect Family) are attending the event with their books available for sale on the day.
The Logistics of the Event - What you need to know
When: Saturday 21 September 2024 (the first Saturday of the Victorian school holidays). Registration opens at 9:00am, ready for the seminar to start at 9:30am. We’ll wrap up by 4:00pm and you’ll have half an hour to do a final browse of books before doors close at 4:30pm.
Where: In person - Trinity Grammar School, 40 Charles Street, Kew. View map. Street parking is available.
When you book your ticket, please advise us if you need disabled access to the venue.
On-line - we’ll send you the log in details closer to the date. You’ll have access to the content for 7 days after the event. The online event doesn’t include the break-out group session.
What: A chance to learn, share info and meet people in a similar similar situation to yours. Our event is inclusive of all family structures, donation types and conception methods. Here’s the program. We won’t be discussing government policy, legislation or the future of VARTA at this event.
This event is not suitable for children to attend (other than breast fed babes in arms) as child minding facilities are not available.
Food: Lunch and morning tea are included. We’ll ask for dietry requirements when you book your ticket. If you want ‘real coffee’ for your caffeine hit, check out these cafes nearby.
Bring: We suggest you bring a water bottle to stay hydrated and alert, and perhaps something to keep you warm in case the venue’s air-conditioning is tricky to control! We want you to be comfortable.
Its going to be an action packed day so you might also want to bring something on which to take notes. We will be distributing a seminar park with session summaries after the event, upon completion of our feedback form.
Key reasons we advocate for telling DCPs of their donor conception or ‘origin story’ from an early age are:
As the DCP grows and their identity develops, being donor conceived becomes an element of who they are. Its something about themselves they’ve always known.
Keeping secrets within a family can severely damage relationships, whereas sharing this information establishes openness and honesty, building trust within the family.
The risk of the DCPs accidentally finding out about their donor conception has increased significantly with the widespread availability of consumer DNA testing. Keeping this secret forever is virtually impossible. The shock and trauma of finding out in this way can, and should, be avoided for the DCP.
It’s important for every person to know their genetic medical history, regardless of how they were conceived.
As well as our educational events, we have a book shop dedicated to donor conceived people and their families with a range of titles to assist with and guide these conversations while you get started. Parents can also access this VARTA information from 2019 about talking to their donor conceived child.
While the intended audience for How to Tell is Recipient Parents, the event’s focus is DCPs. We want those parenting young DCPs to have the information and knowledge they need to avoid the mistakes that have so hurt previous generations of DCPs.